last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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