erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
