Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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