Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
