dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
