Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
