My nipple is on Facebook.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
