I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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