Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
