I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
