PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
