i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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