Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
