How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
