you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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