So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
