i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
