How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
