he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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