i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Randomize
