well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
