i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
