I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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