oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
