Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
