What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
