He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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