who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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