have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
These tits shall not be calmed
Pooping to opera.
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