i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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