I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
