im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Is Oprah even human
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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