What a fucking waste of an outfit
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
