nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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