But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
