don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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