belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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