i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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