You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
