By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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