Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
