it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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