the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
