He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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