chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
