I want to walk on stilts...naked
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
