I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
So here I am, sexting at work.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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