the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
