guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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