Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I believe in your delicious
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
