I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
